The other evening, I was watching a television show where a guy named Evan was stuck in his past. He was so stuck back there that he confused the people in the present with those from his past. He was reliving the nightmare of his past over and over again. At one point in the show, he actually thought that his current girlfriend was his past girlfriend. His inability to be present in the present ended up causing a fracture in their relationship.
While most people are able to let go of the past, some of us have a bit of “Evan” in us. We cling to the past often reliving our mistakes, the bad situations, or the ruined relationships over and over again. We get stuck in a loop. We carry our emotional baggage into the present which affects all of our thoughts and actions.
I did this for years. When I was in high school, I met a girl who became a very close friend. We instantly connected. It seemed like we were two peas in a pod. We hung out in school, after school, and on the weekends. We were inseparable. As is normal with teenage girls, we talked on the phone for hours at a time about nothing in particular. We giggled. We cried. We bonded. I trusted her completely.
One weekend, we went to a party at a mutual friend’s house. The party was huge – there was lots of drinking and craziness. Sometime during the night, I lost sight of my friend. I was responsible for driving home a lot of people that night and they all had different curfews. When it was time to leave the party, I walked through the party gathering everyone together.
My close friend was the last person that we located. I told her we had to leave in order to get everyone home on time. She told me she wasn’t leaving. She wanted me to come back for her after I’d dropped everyone off. I explained that if I did that I’d be late for my curfew. She didn’t seem to care about that at all. I told her we had to leave immediately. She refused; saying that she’d get a ride with someone else. (Her words weren’t that polite.)
After dropping everyone off in time for their curfews, I headed home. My parents were waiting in the driveway for me. My friend had called my parents and accused me of some awful things. I felt betrayed by her. She never spoke to me again.
That was the night I swore I would never trust another girl as my friend. For years, I kept my word to that vow. I always kept women at arm’s length. I deemed them untrustworthy without even giving them a chance to prove me wrong. This decision of mine led to a very lonely life. I missed out on years of good friendships that I could have enjoyed.
When I came back to the Lord, He went to work breaking that vow of mine immediately. He put amazing Christian women in my path, one after the other. A woman is who led me back to the Lord. A woman is who made me pray out loud for the first time. A woman is who was my Prayer Minister for inner healing.
God healed me of my unforgiveness, bitterness, unwillingness to trust women, and my anger. I have now left that part of my past behind. Clinging to that past offense was stifling what the Lord wanted to do in my life. He redeemed that vow I made by healing me through women to set me free!
If you are stuck in the past because of an inner vow or if you are reliving behavior patterns again and again. I encourage you to come to our Tuesday evening Healing Service and raise your hand to receive prayers for healing. God wants you to be present in the present.