Last week at the Healing Service, Fr. Rob gave a great sermon on how our outer life can differ from our inner life. He used the Titanic as an example to illustrate his point.
There were two distinct levels on the Titanic. The upper decks were where the wealthy traveled eating caviar and enjoying the entertainment. The lower decks were where the poorer people traveled.
When the iceberg struck the Titanic, those traveling on the upper decks continued to party and eat their caviar. Those on the lower decks knew the truth of the matter, as the frigid seawater came rushing down the hallways of the ship. They knew that they were in serious danger and that the ship was sinking.
It made me wonder: “How many of us are spit and polished on the outside, but sinking on the inside?”
I think our society ingrains it in us to put forth our best foot – the never show them your weakness mentality. I learned at a young age, that I needed my life to look like the epitome of perfection. The best way to fool someone into thinking your okay is to put on a spit and polished outside. If you look great on the outside, most people won’t dig much deeper to find out the truth of your inside.
I believe, that I can honestly say that I spent three quarters of my life donning “a perfect outside.” I had my family fooled, my friends fooled and my teachers fooled. I acted like everything was fine, but inside I was sinking fast. The thing about sinking on the inside is that sooner or later your inside will sink your outside.
Once that starts happening, your inside turmoil begins to leak to your outside. For me, that began in Eighth Grade. My Guidance Counselor began to see the signs of inner depression and warned my parents that things weren’t right. My parents tried to get me some help, but my spit and polished outside fooled the private Counselors.
Two and a half years later, I was a high school dropout. My inner sinking had sunk my outside.
It wasn’t until years later, when I turned my life over to the Lord that my inner and outer life began to line up. I had plenty of water damage and brokenness from all those years of slow sinkage. My insides needed a complete overhaul. Thankfully, God was more than capable of tackling that overhaul challenge.
My inner healing has been a process. It didn’t happen overnight. Each day, I know that God is continuing to work on my insides. No more living the Titanic life for me.
If you are struggling with a sinking inside, I strongly encourage you to make an appointment with one of our trained Prayer Ministers. They will walk beside you, in prayer, as God heals you from the inside out.
I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in.
Ephesians 3:16 (MSG)